My 1st song - Agnes

Here's the song, Agnes, from the Very Romantic EP. Take a listen, won't you?



Agnes was the name of a 1994 Ford Taurus that I used to drive. My parents bought the car new and when I moved down to L.A. for school, she became mine. She drove like a boat and broke down many many times, but she was my car and I loved her.

The name Agnes came about because she was an American car of a bygone era. And yes, I did actually call my car Agnes. Like if I was driving up a hill and the engine began to make that not-very-good sound, I would reassuringly stroke the dashboard while whispering, "There, there. C'mon Agnes, ol' girl."

One night, I got into a minor car accident that took Agnes out of commission for good. That night, I took the passenger side head rest, the Taurus logo, and the front license plate (bent nearly in two from many potholes and curbs).

It was during my tenure in L.A. Public Transportation that the idea fomented. I really missed this car! Thinking about all the times we shared, even the bad ones, made me a bit misty. I absent mindedly had the opening line, Agnes my Dear ("Martha" anyone?) floating around in my head when the rest came out. The melody was decidedly jazzy and the lyrics kind of formed around that. I also was endlessly amused with the sort of double entendres you could get in with a car/woman comparison. More on that later.

Agnes, my dear, twelve years we've fared
I sure do hate to see you so
But now it's as clear
as an object in the rear view mirror
I guess that you just
gotta go

Oh, I'll miss the good times
Driving around and making up rhymes
From Town to Town
But I'll always remember the times you broke down

Actually, it had been only 10 years at that point, but I really liked that alliterative quality of "twelve years we've fared." Fair warning. I like alliteration.

Driving around and making up rhymes refers to how my friends and I used to try and freestyle rap in the car and that much of our time as teenagers (or bored college students home from school) was driving around, listening to music and other shenanigans. The times you broke down are too many to list, but they were entirely memorable.

Agnes, my heart, seems you can't start
It must be my time to move on
But it tears me apart
it tears up my heart
to know that I'm gonna be driving the road
all alone

The 2nd verse has one of my least favorite lyrics, "tears me apart, tears up my heart". The heart is repeated from the line before and it's just lazy songwriting. But it works really well with the tone and timbre of the song. The last line of the verse kind of makes up for it ('specially when I put some 'mustard' on it).

Then we have the bridge. Here I really took the double entendre aspect to its farthest reaches.

Moving to the backseat
Was never much of a task
All you had to do was pull the lever
and politely ask

Those times I was in You
Are the fondest in my mind
Agnes, my dear
I wish we had more time

In time, you will learn that I love Frank Zappa. He had a song called "I Have Been In You" the sleaziest song, which in turn was parodying the Peter Frampton clean of "I'm In You". Anyhoo, as I began to think of how I can come up with double meanings, "in you" seemed the most ripe. It's absolutely socially inappropriate to sing about in one context and absolutely banal in the other. You can all picture me impishly giggling like a pubescent boy, 'cause that's probably what was happening.

These lyrics have gotten me in trouble, especially if there are young ears in the audience but I would be lying if I said that wasn't the intent. I usually preface the song with "it's about a car" if I'm unsure as to how people will react.

During the breakdown part of the song, I used to entreat Agnes "Don't forget about me..I miss you, etc. etc. in what can be described as "Fat Elvis style". There's always been an aspect of showmanship, lounginess or something (see Mustard, above) to my onstage persona. Why? I don't know. It's kind of that simultaneous cheesiness and sincerity that drives a lot of my songwriting. There'll prolly be more on this later.

Finally, during the 2nd bridge I add another 4 lines to the chord progression.

Puking in the backseat
While I was on my way home
Agnes My DARLIIIIIIIIIING
Don't leave me standing,
stranded and alone

My sister used to get car sick a lot. When I inherited Agnes from my parents, it had some nice vomitus stains from one our family road trips.

In terms of the music, I remember writing it very quickly. I had the bridge chords first and the feel was very much built into that. Then I wanted to have a jazzy section and I just sort of petered around until it sounded sufficiently jazzy to me. My friend Ken helped me out as I chunked through the chords.

Originally, I played drums on this song and sung. Chris played guitar (advanced jazz band skills) and Ken played bass. Other arrangements included Ken on bass, Matt on acoustic guitar and me on ukulele. Solo, I tend to play it on uke. On the recording, it's a drum track made by me on the Br-600, me on uke, guitar, lyrics bass and kazoo.

This song is unique in that's it's probably the "jazziest" (though you will come to know that I love the maj7 chord as a song ending).

I usually start my shows with this song. It's a good indicator of my general tone, even if it doesn't necessarily sound similar musically.

A lot of people say this is their favorite song of mine. I dunno if that's encouraging or not since it's also what I'd consider my first. Does it only go down from here?


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Next time: Bella Donna!