The Influence of the Subconscious - Woman of My Dreams

Have a listen to Woman of My Dreams by clicking play below


Dreams have always been a fascinating topic for me. Perhaps it is the occasional lucid dream or (more likely) my love of sleeping but I enjoy dreams immensley. I should note that I don't see dreams as some sort of prophecy machine of the Mass Subconscious. Rather, I see them as a massive data dump of a brain that is bombarded by stimuli on a daily basis. To put it very un-romantically, dreams are the bodily function of the brain. That being said, I enjoy the narratives that my subconscious creates, I love trying to remember them upon waking and I love analyzing their contents.

Which brings us to the song.

You were the woman of my dreams and you wore a red dress. I wondered if I would remember. And I'm glad I did. I'm glad I did.

I dreamt of this woman and in typical dream logic, somehow knew that she was The One. When I woke up I was struggling to remember anything about her and was profoundly grateful to remember such trivial details as the red dress.


You bent and whispered in my ear that you were Aphrodite. I looked deep into your eyes and I could tell you were telling the truth; your eyes seemed to scream out to me about the Truth (Truth and Love)

Brings to mind this image from Twin Peaks (I couldn't find an image Laura whispering into Cooper's ear, but you get the picture).



This happened exactly as described in the dream. The line Truth and Love was just trying to capture the raw emotion that I saw in this dream woman's eyes. However, the way that I deliver it is very nonchalant and casual. I suppose that this to contrast with any sort of greater importance that those words have associated with them.


Woman of My Dreams, Will I recognize you when I'm not asleep

This line of the bridge and outro was the core around which the rest of the song was written. I had the chords and I pictured them as being sung by a warbling serenader in the 1920s. The rest of the chords of the song we're written in order to make the bridge/outro more of a musical release.

The lines "Your eyes seemed to scream out to me about the truth" has an odd chord behind it. I believe it's Ebmin9 and once again, it's harsh minor tonality serves as a tension that is released when I return to the normal verse chords.

Special Bonus! More lyrics!

One detail that would have been covered by an additonal verse was that the Woman of My Dreams wore Jackie O glasses. Here's is that verse:

You were the woman of dreams
and you wore sunglasses
I wondered if I would remember
They were Jackie O's
They were Jackie Onassis-es Glasses-es

Didn't quite fit with the rest of the song, but still something that bounces in my mind when I play the song.

Interlude - Tools of the Trade

As I have mentioned, I'm not a classically trained musician. I don't have perfect pitch or synesthesia (that'd be cool). I can read music (albeit very slowly) and know next to nothing about music theory. So, how do I write?

The most important thing is catching inspiration when it strikes. That haunting melody that you wake up to could be the next "Yesterday" (which incidentally, is the origin of that song). The half-baked line that you thought of while in line at the DMV could be a striking centerpiece for your new song.

But if you forget, these brilliant ideas are gone. Maybe you'll get lucky and think of it again, but more often than not, you don't have enough brain cells to retain where you parked your car let alone the opening lines of the Great American Novel (tm). So, how does one capture lightning in a bottle?

First, you need a notebook. I have been using a Moleskine notebook for about 10 years. They're sturdy and come in a wide variety of styles and layouts. For my purposes, I use a hardcover, line-ruled pocket-sized. It's very important to keep this notebook close by at all times so smaller is better. I keep mine in my pocket along with a pencil or pen. Anytime I have an idea, be it rolling out of bed or walking down the street, I jot it down in here.

Just opening to a random page in my current notebook

I don't wanna be free

These potential lyrics started with just the last line. I have no idea where or when it occured to me, but I do know my general feeling at the time; one of the loneliness of freedom and being single.

I would love to be saved/or barring that simply enslaved/oh how I would behave/you wait and see/I would make the bestest pet/that you've boosted yet/I don't wanna be free

Going back, I've expanded and notated the heck out of this line. You can see that there's a meter developing and even a sort of musical style that's all ready making itself known (swingin').

Usually, by this point the song has sort of "written itself" meaning the melody or chords have been made clear (to me) by the lyrics. Now it's just a matter of polishing up the lyrics and chords before laying down a rough recording or demo.

Alright, well that works for lyrics. What about the music?

You need some sort of portable audio recorder. For years, I kept a micro cassette recorder in my car. Anytime I would have a little melody bouncing around in my head, I would lay it down on there. This was also handy when I would be driving and have an idea that I didn't want to pull over and write in my notebook. Nowadays, I use an Olympus voice recorder. It's digital (and thus, much easier to get material off of it and onto my computer) and it has a metric ton of storage space (8gb). I even use it when I'm trying to lay something down quickly and don't want to set up my full rig.

Every few weeks, I listen to stuff I've recorded and see if anything pops out at me. A lot of it is meandering humming and whistling but every once in a while, a melody that I've recorded takes on its' on life; to me that is an indicator of potential. Many of my songs started out in this state; Bella Donna, Agnes, No Time and more.

Sometimes, I will take an orphan melody or lyrics and put them together. But most of the time, it's already clear what the melody is for those lyrics or vice-versa.

So if I can distill my process into 3 general steps.

1. Capture inspiration when it strikes using notebooks and audio recorders.
2. Review material seperating the wheat from the chaff. (trust your instincts here)
3. Synthesize the good stuff together to make a song!

Soon, we'll get back to the songs themselves.

On Talking To Girls - Bella Donna

Have a listen to Bella Donna, won't you please?



Many of my songs deal with themes of trying to talk to girls. I'm not some sort of smooth operator or anything, but I do force myself to talk to girls when I see 'em, because I've learned that you'll never get anywhere by NOT seizing those opportunities.

A friend of mine asked me to host a musicians showcase in L.A. I donned a suit, dialed up my lounge, and did it with aplomb. It was a quiet night but I was fascinated by the beauty working the door. She had long brown curls and deep brown eyes. She was clad in black and had these crazy knee high steel toed boots. For lack of a better word she was "goth". And she told me her name was Belladonna (which of course, means Beautiful Woman).

You drew a pentagram upon my hand
I thought it looked more like an
anarchy symbol and
so I stood near where you stand


In between my band introductions, I would go and akwardly talk to her. One of my questions was, "What's your favorite holiday" to which she blithely replied, "Halloween. But every day is like Halloween to me." So dark. It was kind of funny and as I was driving home I rolled that line around in my mind. "You say every day is Halloween. I know just what you mean." That didn't quite flow correctly, so I changed it to "don't know what you mean". That not only flows better, but in my opinion, adds a sense of longing to the song. This line is the refrain, and the crux of the song.


conversation was pretty good i guess
but there's just one thing that i've
gotta confess

You say every day is Halloween
Bella Donna
I don't know what you mean

We've got some subject/verb disagreement here. Shouldn't it be, "I don't know what you meant?" Maybe. But that doesn't rhyme. I peppered the rest of the song with this same dissonance and I would say that this is sort of the "high concept" of the song. In the first verse you've got the "so I stood near where you stand". Again, sacrificing gramatical correctness for a rhyme. The first verse lines were written to sound the most nasal and whiny, which suits my nasal and whiny voice. Lots of "n" sounds.

Engaged in a furtive flirt
I complimented you on your skirt
and those boots look like
they could hurt

Like to get to know you could I call you on the phone
But first there's something that I feel needs to be known


Lots more of the "n"s and alliteration. As I have stated, I'm not a poet. I do like the sounds of words, especially rhymes, alliteration and consonance. Reading through this draft, I'm noticing a lot of that as well. Apparently, when I was a kid, I had a habit of answering my parents in rhymes. "Go to sleep." "I'll count some sheep". So, I guess my brain just works in that way.


[2nd chorus]

Whistle solo

My fascination with vocal harmonies (largely a result of my exposure to Doo Wop music via Frank Zappa) comes through in this song. I don't know enough about music theory to tell you exactly how I'm harmonizing (pretty sure it's just major thirds during the verse and a 13 during the last time through the chorus), but I'm just singing what sounds right. Years and years of trying to harmonize with everything I listen to makes it relatively easy for me to do on the fly. The whistle solo, warmed by the harmonies, is quite dear.

The recording for this song was done in my high ceilinged room in L.A. I love how the sound bounces around the room. For a mic, I used the one on my video camera and recorded into my friends DAT. You can hear police sirens in the background during the first chorus and some car horns honking later. I've recorded this song several times since, but nothing captures the sweetness of this recording in arrangement, mix and performance.

I drew as close to you as I could dare
I became entangled inside your hair
it don't suck to get stuck there


This actually happened during our conversation. This girl had wild hair and it totally caught me. Also, one of my favorite lines. When I play this song with my homeboys Derek and Sean, it seems to be recast in the mode of an Irish brogue.


Your eyes are the deepest brown
that I'm swimming in 'em
and couldn't care if I drown

This is, simultaneously, one of the best and worst lines. It's sweet and poetic, but it doesn't make sense. What kind of liquid is brown? Don't think about it too hard. What can I say? I'm a sucker for pretty eyes.

And I never really learned just what she mean

Subject/Verb tense!

The chords for the song were definetly written around the chorus. The name "Bel-la Don-na" has a natural rhythm to it that allows for the breaks in the song. The opening chords of C to A minor is a classic, 50's style progression heard in songs like the "Twin Peaks" opening theme.

As for the rest of the chords, there wasn't much futzing with that. The melody and words naturally dictated them and I remember writing the chords 5 minutes or so before I recorded it.

After the show, Bella Donna got picked up by her boyfriend on his motorcycle. I never asked her for her phone number or anything like that, but as I said, the evening was on my mind.

So this song is basically a recounting of the evening with Bella Donna with one aspect changed; I knew exactly what she meant.

My 1st song - Agnes

Here's the song, Agnes, from the Very Romantic EP. Take a listen, won't you?



Agnes was the name of a 1994 Ford Taurus that I used to drive. My parents bought the car new and when I moved down to L.A. for school, she became mine. She drove like a boat and broke down many many times, but she was my car and I loved her.

The name Agnes came about because she was an American car of a bygone era. And yes, I did actually call my car Agnes. Like if I was driving up a hill and the engine began to make that not-very-good sound, I would reassuringly stroke the dashboard while whispering, "There, there. C'mon Agnes, ol' girl."

One night, I got into a minor car accident that took Agnes out of commission for good. That night, I took the passenger side head rest, the Taurus logo, and the front license plate (bent nearly in two from many potholes and curbs).

It was during my tenure in L.A. Public Transportation that the idea fomented. I really missed this car! Thinking about all the times we shared, even the bad ones, made me a bit misty. I absent mindedly had the opening line, Agnes my Dear ("Martha" anyone?) floating around in my head when the rest came out. The melody was decidedly jazzy and the lyrics kind of formed around that. I also was endlessly amused with the sort of double entendres you could get in with a car/woman comparison. More on that later.

Agnes, my dear, twelve years we've fared
I sure do hate to see you so
But now it's as clear
as an object in the rear view mirror
I guess that you just
gotta go

Oh, I'll miss the good times
Driving around and making up rhymes
From Town to Town
But I'll always remember the times you broke down

Actually, it had been only 10 years at that point, but I really liked that alliterative quality of "twelve years we've fared." Fair warning. I like alliteration.

Driving around and making up rhymes refers to how my friends and I used to try and freestyle rap in the car and that much of our time as teenagers (or bored college students home from school) was driving around, listening to music and other shenanigans. The times you broke down are too many to list, but they were entirely memorable.

Agnes, my heart, seems you can't start
It must be my time to move on
But it tears me apart
it tears up my heart
to know that I'm gonna be driving the road
all alone

The 2nd verse has one of my least favorite lyrics, "tears me apart, tears up my heart". The heart is repeated from the line before and it's just lazy songwriting. But it works really well with the tone and timbre of the song. The last line of the verse kind of makes up for it ('specially when I put some 'mustard' on it).

Then we have the bridge. Here I really took the double entendre aspect to its farthest reaches.

Moving to the backseat
Was never much of a task
All you had to do was pull the lever
and politely ask

Those times I was in You
Are the fondest in my mind
Agnes, my dear
I wish we had more time

In time, you will learn that I love Frank Zappa. He had a song called "I Have Been In You" the sleaziest song, which in turn was parodying the Peter Frampton clean of "I'm In You". Anyhoo, as I began to think of how I can come up with double meanings, "in you" seemed the most ripe. It's absolutely socially inappropriate to sing about in one context and absolutely banal in the other. You can all picture me impishly giggling like a pubescent boy, 'cause that's probably what was happening.

These lyrics have gotten me in trouble, especially if there are young ears in the audience but I would be lying if I said that wasn't the intent. I usually preface the song with "it's about a car" if I'm unsure as to how people will react.

During the breakdown part of the song, I used to entreat Agnes "Don't forget about me..I miss you, etc. etc. in what can be described as "Fat Elvis style". There's always been an aspect of showmanship, lounginess or something (see Mustard, above) to my onstage persona. Why? I don't know. It's kind of that simultaneous cheesiness and sincerity that drives a lot of my songwriting. There'll prolly be more on this later.

Finally, during the 2nd bridge I add another 4 lines to the chord progression.

Puking in the backseat
While I was on my way home
Agnes My DARLIIIIIIIIIING
Don't leave me standing,
stranded and alone

My sister used to get car sick a lot. When I inherited Agnes from my parents, it had some nice vomitus stains from one our family road trips.

In terms of the music, I remember writing it very quickly. I had the bridge chords first and the feel was very much built into that. Then I wanted to have a jazzy section and I just sort of petered around until it sounded sufficiently jazzy to me. My friend Ken helped me out as I chunked through the chords.

Originally, I played drums on this song and sung. Chris played guitar (advanced jazz band skills) and Ken played bass. Other arrangements included Ken on bass, Matt on acoustic guitar and me on ukulele. Solo, I tend to play it on uke. On the recording, it's a drum track made by me on the Br-600, me on uke, guitar, lyrics bass and kazoo.

This song is unique in that's it's probably the "jazziest" (though you will come to know that I love the maj7 chord as a song ending).

I usually start my shows with this song. It's a good indicator of my general tone, even if it doesn't necessarily sound similar musically.

A lot of people say this is their favorite song of mine. I dunno if that's encouraging or not since it's also what I'd consider my first. Does it only go down from here?


...

Next time: Bella Donna!

Why Am I Doing This?

It's been almost a year since I updated this poorly maintained thing. What better time then for a rambling Mission Statement/ Biography.

Okay. First off, a little about myself.

I've always had music. When I was 8 years old, I wrote "Hello, I Love You". I was very disappointed when I heard the song performed by the Doors on the radio. Around the same time, I wrote a new melody for they lyrics of "My Country 'Tis of Thee"; it was an oompah beat. I knew all the words to "Burning Down the House" by the Talking Heads and even created my own choreography.

I was in a school sponsored choir (Favorite song by far was Waltzing Mathilda) and took saxophone for about a week. My parents bought me a little casio keyboard for Hanukkah one year and I enjoyed the heck out of making a cacophony on that.

The first album I ever bought was Fat by Weird Al Yankovic. The 2nd one after that was the Chronic by Dr. Dre.

In 7th grade, my family moved and I had to make new friends. One of these friends had a cheap Peavey Predator guitar, a Strat knock off, and sold it to me along with a little amp. At first, all I did was tune arbitrarily, make terrible noises and play with the whammy bar a lot. My Bar-Mitzvah yielded guitar lessons where I learned *gasp* how to tune, stomp my feet and my first song. It was "The Man Who Sold the World" (the version from Nirvana Unplugged, to give you an idea of the year).

My friends and I made music, covering Green Day and Minor Threat songs and generally sounding like garbage. But it was fun. Around this time, I started writing little poems. They were the kind of stunted trite that can only be produced by a 13 year old kid who thinks he knows about the world. I wrote them semi-consistently through middle and high school. They were mostly about girls, though I do remember one where I was metaphorically talking about my guitar like it was a machine gun.

Clearly, the idea of being a rock star had found purchase in my mind. And it was inevitable for a romantic, day-dreaming nerd like myself.

In college, I was in a band called the Knights of Chernobyl. My BFF and band mate Chris wrote a lot of the songs and I found that encouraging. Specifically, he wrote one just after 9/11 that was really good and won us the Battle of the Bands. After that, I concentrated on trying to write songs. Unfortunately, a clash of styles meant that the band didn't respond to my music (and admittedly, all of my songs were pedestrian compared to the hard hitting reggae-funk the band was spewing). Eventually, the band broke up.

The summer after that break-up my friend John (a bassist and AMAZING musician) and I would get together every night and jam. We recorded all these jams and then honed some of them into songs. John was really encouraging me in my songwriting and we recorded a couple of those songs, which was an amazing experience for me. It was very validating especially after the rejection I experienced in Knights of Chernobyl.

After college, I was living in Los Angeles and I wasn't very happy. One day, I got into a car accident that took my car out of commission. I was expelled to the purgatory that is the Los Angeles Public Transportation System and during my time there, I began to write the song that would become "Agnes"; the song that started this 5+ year journey of "real songwriting".

Nowadays, I can't imagine my life without songwriting. I've got probably 100 songs (not all of 'em gems) under my belt and no sign of slowing. At the risk of sounding cliche, it gives my life meaning. Now, that's not to say I'm successful, but I realized that with songwriting, I don't care; I will be doing it until I can't anymore.

Phew. Okay, that's a basic bio. And I'll be revisiting "Agnes" in the future.

But I wanted to let you know why I'm writing this.

Reason the First: To Record for Posterity the Reasons Why I Wrote Songs

Mainly, as a reminder to myself in my sure-to-be-addled old age. Trivia, rudimentary analysis, alternate versions, the stories behind the music. But who knows? If I end up like Burt Bacharach or something, this'll be a trove of information.


Reason the Second: To Promote My Music

I'm not going to lie. I hope that this increases the number of people who are exposed to my music. Hopefully, they'll like it, too!

Reason the Third: To Inspire

I am not a musical genius (or a genius of any sort). I am not a poet. I am simply a guy who has piddled around for a while and now has some songs. By revealing my processes, I hope to show that it's easy if you are consistent and persistent. You can do this, too!

...

Alright, stay tuned for my first real post. At my current pace, this'll be sometime in the next decade.

Should probably start this at some point...

It's been several months since I first registered this page but I've yet to actually post anything yet. So here goes.

I'm working on a Tarot themed album; each card in the reading a different song. I've written 7 out of 11 songs and working on getting the other four done. Stay tuned!